My so-called fabulous life

My dentist appointment was just canceled. And while that's a relief, it also reminds me of one of the greatest contributing factors to my third-life crisis -- teeth suddenly in need of drastic repair, despite years of flossing and brushing and regular teeth-cleaning. I don't have many recurring nightmares, but the one that I have fairly regularly is of my teeth starting to fall out. In the dream, one starts to wiggle, and gets worse and worse until I have to pull it out. Then the next one starts. And this year (in real life) I started clenching and grinding my teeth so severly while I slept that some have started to feel a little loose. It's as close to living a nightmare as I have ever experienced. So now, I wear a nightguard to sleep, which is like trying to sleep with those flouride trays they use at the dentist's office. It's hard plastic, and I have a difficult time breathing with it in.

Nightguards interfere significantly with the fabulous, sexy, breezy image you want to have of yourself. They are not sexy, nor fabulous, nor even comfortable. And to keep the spit in, you have to make a sucking sound every few minutes. And it forces to you to remember that there is a teeny, tiny war going on in your mouth, wherein your top teeth have to be protected from your bottom teeth.

All of that is to illustrate how far away my current life seems from the one I think I want . . . or need . . . to have. The problem is that I'm scared. And shy. And really underwhelmed with the skills I have. You know that question, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" My immediate response is, "That's asinine and fantastical. You CAN fail. Pretending you can't is for six-year-olds and oil tycoons." I just finished The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. He explores the meaning of this question in Iceland, where basic necessities like health insurance and shelter are guaranteed by the government. Perhaps there you can safely fail, he argues, and so attempt things not in your immediate repertoire of skills and job experience. But then you have to live in Iceland.