What I learned while waxing my legs

Since I have to get older, I decided that I should at the very least take advantage of some of the privileges -- well, not privileges, exactly, but interesting experiences and silly indulgences.

So, instead of shaving (which, gifted as I am with ridiculously-quick growing hair and thin skin, has never worked well) I waxed my own legs. I've had my legs waxed at salons a couple of times before, but it always seems a little condescending to expect someone else to deal with my extraneous hair growth. Yuck. Here's what I learned from tonight's in-house experiment.

1. The reason that people go to salons to wax their legs is not the soft music, aromatic lotions, tiny water features, and high-quality supplies. The reason that people go to salons to wax their legs is that someone else has to deal with the mess. By the end of the evening, my legs were relatively smooth (more on that later), but I had wax on my hands, my shirt, the floor, the counter, the microwave, all of the spreading sticks that came with the kit, my feet, and my dog. Except for the slightly rewarding feeling of having accomplished this myself and the relief of not having to carry on a meaningless conversation with the attendant, I would pay $40 to spare myself the oily shower. And probably a week of cleaning the counter.

2. I am not as flexible as I used to be. You try to spread hot wax on the back of your calf without dripping any on the floor and while paying attention to the direction of hair growth. It is astonishingly complicated. This is a task that should be featured on Cirque du Soleil.

3. Waxing doesn't hurt that much. Any real woman can stand the pain.

4. If you wax your calves and it takes all twenty paper strips, it's okay to skip your thighs. Once you're over 30, your skirts don't show that part of your leg anyway.

5. It's best to do these things while your husband is out of town. He doesn't need to see this -- it involves just enough complexity and equipment that he'll try to surpervise. Or at least provide color commentary.

6. Hair on your legs grows at different rates. I'm not sure if you're supposed to wax, wait a week for the rest of the hair to grow and wax again, but I hate to have to block off another four hours so soon.

By the way, I remembered a couple more fabulous women around my age -- the divine Heidi Klum, of course. And Reese Witherspoon, Kate Winslet, Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie. I'm not sure what their existence proves, though. That I'm shirking?